A tribute

Dietrich and Grandma Norma last August.

My Grandma Norma was ill for a long, long time, suffering first from depression and then from the struggles of an aging body. She hadn't walked in years (though on good days she would talk about re-learning this valuable skill). She passed the years in a comfy chair in her glass-walled living room, a fire blazing (even on the hottest of days), birds gobbling up the seed in the feeders on prominent display outside. She frequently had visitors; she was beloved.

I never doubted Grandma's love for me,and never felt like I had to earn it. She was excellent about staying in touch, even when I wasn't. She used to write lovely letters in beautiful script. The letters slowed with the years, and frequently contained apologies for her harder-and-harder-to-read scrawl. Eventually, poor eyesight and hand control put an end to the letters. But she frequently mentioned that she prayed for me every day. And I'm sure that she did, right up until the end.

A few years ago, she told me that she didn't feel alone during the quiet daytime hours because she knew that Jesus was with her. She said it with tenderness, but in a matter-of-fact way -- as though she were talking about a visible person. Jesus was convincingly real to her. I hope for such faith to permeate my life.

In their marriage, Grandma and Grandpa exemplified devotion, humor, partnership, continual growth. Grandpa is feisty; Grandma was his perfect foil. In her illness, Grandpa took care of Grandma; she let him. They delighted in their life together, and their stories and advice evolved as my life evolved. When Eric and I first married, it was stories of how they built a beautiful relationship. When Dietrich came along, we were treated to tales of how they raised their three boys.

A few years ago, as we all do, they hit a rocky patch. Grandpa told me about it after the fact, giving Grandma an affectionate squeeze and remarking that he loved her even more now. This when either (or both) of them could have just decided that, after more than 60 years together, they were done working on this relationship. Oh, that I should be so blessed.

Grandma died last Friday while she was out to dinner with my Grandpa. They were celebrating their 67th anniversary. She will be buried today; her eldest son will officiate. They'll sing "Count Your Blessings" -- Grandma certainly did. And being descended from her certainly is one of mine.

Four weeks old

At four weeks, Lev has finally woken up. His big blue eyes are constantly watching, watching. He finds the kitchen wall and the bedroom light particularly fascinating. And he's started flashing a smile every once in a while. Oh, we love him so.

Lev's birth story (part 2)

Upon arriving home from our ice-cream outing, with contractions still 30 minutes apart, I jumped on Skype to let Eric know the goings-on, and then planned to take a nap. Our pre-nap messages:

[5/27/10 3:06:59 PM] eric and josie oldenburg: every 30 minutes since about 12:30

[5/27/10 3:11:46 PM] ericoldenburg: wow! that's pretty consistent. do you want me to come home or can I keep plugging away at things.

[5/27/10 3:12:02 PM] eric and josie oldenburg: oh, keep plugging away. every 30 minutes is nothin'

[5/27/10 3:12:25 PM] ericoldenburg: yeah, but if the consistency is there then it could speed up quick.

[5/27/10 3:12:56 PM] eric and josie oldenburg: yeah, but i was out and about the whole time. let's see what a nap does to them. :-)

[5/27/10 3:13:34 PM] eric and josie oldenburg: ps. they freakin' hurt. i mean, obviously manageable, but this is just the beginning.

[5/27/10 3:18:31 PM] ericoldenburg: gotta step out for a few ...

[5/27/10 3:18:35 PM] eric and josie oldenburg: bye


So down I go for a nap. As soon as my head hits the pillow, the contractions jump to 13 minutes apart, and I get a phone call. It's soon evident that I will not be taking a nap. So, back I go to the computer.

[5/27/10 4:12:47 PM] eric and josie oldenburg: last three have been 13 minutes apart.

[5/27/10 4:13:32 PM] ericoldenburg: 13 minutes is a lot closer together than 30. i should come home, yeah?

[5/27/10 4:13:45 PM] eric and josie oldenburg: no, no ...

[5/27/10 4:13:52 PM] eric and josie oldenburg: if they get to 10, then yes.

[5/27/10 4:13:56 PM] ericoldenburg: why not?!?!

[5/27/10 4:14:15 PM] ericoldenburg: by 10 then we should be on our way to the hospital.

[5/27/10 4:14:40 PM] eric and josie oldenburg: no, the hospital said not to call until 5 minutes apart.

[5/27/10 4:15:04 PM] ericoldenburg: hmmm.

[5/27/10 4:15:17 PM] ericoldenburg: ok, then.

[5/27/10 4:15:51 PM] ericoldenburg: i'll plan to finish up here and come home. if something happens, let me know and i'll come home.

[5/27/10 4:15:55 PM] eric and josie oldenburg: ok

[5/27/10 4:16:08 PM] ericoldenburg: i should cancel tonight though, right?

[5/27/10 4:18:16 PM] eric and josie oldenburg: not yet! wow, i'm a lot calmer than you right now. :-)

[5/27/10 4:29:00 PM] ericoldenburg: all i'm sayin' is that 13 is a lot closer to 10 than 30.

[5/27/10 4:29:08 PM] ericoldenburg: you can't argue with that.

He's right. I couldn't argue with that. But the last thing I wanted to do was cancel our plans and then find myself sitting at home bored and regretful. Plus, I'd really been looking forward to that night's outing. All season, we'd gone over to our friends' apartment once a week to watch the final season of "Lost," and all season we'd been comparing how many weeks of the show were left -- and how many weeks of pregnant Josie were left. So, to the long list of unanswered "Lost" questions, we'd added: "Will Josie get to finish the show?"

So, we didn't cancel. Instead, Eric's mom and I made dinner (soft tacos), then Eric, his dad and I popped out to the market, where I bought dental floss and we loaded minutes onto our cell phones.

Still a fairly normal day, except that I carried my trusty timer with me everywhere I went, even to the market. Using this handy kitchen tool to time the contractions myself was much easier than trying to communicate with Eric each time a contraction began and ended.

And when our "Lost" friends called to see if we were still on, we said yes. But we're bringing our suitcase and medical records with us.

Lev's birth story (part 1)

Dietrich cuddles his baby brother on "labor day."

Today is baby Lev's two-week birthday! I'm going to celebrate by remembering how he came into the world.

Two weeks ago yesterday, I hopped out of bed at 7 a.m. after dreaming about contractions. Sure enough, they were real -- but infrequent, coming every 20 minutes. Still, I happily went about my morning activities, sure that May 27 was the day.

The fact that I felt really happy was an answer to prayer, as the morning before, I had experienced a bit of a panic attack when thinking about the birth. Though the logical part of me realized that the panic was probably the result of a rush of hormones, and probably even signaled that Lev's birth was imminent, the emotional part of me was distraught and fearful. I asked two close friends and Eric to pray, and I find it not at all insignificant that less than 24 hours later, I was chipper and excited to be in labor.

So. Contractions. Every 20 minutes. Until they stopped a couple of hours later. Boo.

I read a bunch of midwifery books during this pregnancy, and not a one of them suggested that sitting at home on your tush is helpful for encouraging labor, so I decided to take Dietrich and the Oldenburgs out for ice cream. (Eric was at work.) About 30 minutes after we got Dietrich from preschool, the contractions returned -- 30 minutes apart. So heavily spaced that I didn't even admit they were real until 2 p.m., while enjoying my ice cream outside of McDonald's.

Despite the contractions, the day was rather mundane: We went to the store to buy ground beef for dinner, I checked the price on a changing pad, we rode the marshrutka home. All normal activities. This felt so natural to me, so much more natural than Dietrich's birthday, which we spent sitting in a hospital room, listening to the fetal monitor beep. An ordinary day was exactly what I'd hoped for. Plus, ice cream! With chocolate sauce!

And Lev awakes ...